this is one of those posts i don’t really want to write. but i feel like i need to so i can look back and know i learned something from it. and there was purpose.

G is constantly working on getting me to let go of stress and worry and learn how to put a positive spin on things. i suck at all that. i get so tangled up in my stress and worry that i let it consume me most of the time. not a good trait. because God calls us to stop worrying. and yet i keep on worrying and stressing myself out to the point of like serious mental overload. sin. it’s just sin.

it’s not that i think God can’t handle my ishes. it’s that i think God wants me to show him that i can hold it all together and still you know like smile and stuff. but that never works out the way i plan. obviously.

this past weekend was tough. and it totally blindsided me. was not expecting the emotional painfest. i don’t really need to explain the details to you, all you really need to know is that my heart was hurt…stabbed pretty much straight through and i’m still kind of trying to get over it.

fear not. G and i are still crazy-in-love. beyonce and jay-z style. koko and lam-o before the break-up rumors love. (ie it didn’t have anything to do with G)

but if left me feeling kind of worn out and run over. i’m trying to hold on to the good and let the rest go. but it’s hard. especially for a negative nancy like me. but i know that in the end…everything is going to work out just the way it should, that God will be glorified, and that me and G will be mr. + mrs.

i’m grateful for the people in my life that love me no matter what. some are related to me, some are not. they’re all my family. i’m glad i have G who always has my back. he’s my biggest fan, my bodyguard, my bestest little friend…and we’re getting married! and that’s pretty exciting.

haters gonna hate.

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